Tuesday, January 27, 2009

U2 Sucks...

It has come to my attention over the past few days that some of my friends are (I can't believe I'm saying this...) U2 fans. Had I known this before they were my friends, they wouldn't be my friends at the moment. U2 is perhaps the most overrated band in history. They are absolutely terrible and it saddens me that people think they have any talent whatsoever. U2...you suck.

This is why, this is why, this U2 sucks:

1.) You're lead singer is named Bono. I could stop there right there, but I'll elaborate. He is one of the most egotistical people on the planet. You give to charities? So do millions of other people. Does that make your voice sound halfway decent? No. Does that make your lyrics orginial or somewhat inspiring? No. I wish you were a mute. Bono is a joke. Take off your sunglasses.

2.) The lead guitarist is named "The Edge." Hahahahahahaha please. How can you call yourself "The Edge" when you don't have the talent or ability to outplay a first year guitar student? Your playing lacks substance, emotion, or technical ability. "The Edge" is a no talent hack. He should take some lessons from Syd Barrett, Pete Townshend, Jimi Hendrix, Jimmy Page, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Eddie Van Halen, or Eric Clapton.

3.) The "constantly evolving band" hasn't introduced any original ideas to music ever (unlike Pink Floyd, The Who, The Beatles, Van Halen, etc.).

4.) Even George Harrison has ripped on U2. Look it up.

5.) Bono howls and wails every word in every song. Annoying.

6.) "The Edge" can't play. Listen to Eddie Van Halen play "Eruption" and take some notes.

7.) It seems everyone of their songs sounds the same or are full of political issues of the week. We get it.

8.) U2 has inspired bands like the Killers and Coldplay. Suck.

9.) U2 considers themselves a rock band. In order to be a rock band, you must play rock-n-roll. All I've heard USuck play is some variations on pop. Yes, I'll admit bands like Van Halen (especially after the 1984 album when David Lee Roth left the band), Rolling Stones, and Pink Floyd all have some songs that are a little "poppy." U2 on the other hand is pure pop. Vertigo? Please. When are you releasing an album featuring Aaron Carter or Hannah Montana? I would hate U2 a lot less if they would just go ahead and admit they are a boy band and no nothing about rock-n-roll.

10.) Did I mention Bono is a prick and "The Edge" can't play?

Note: I catch quite a bit of crap for loving Van Halen because some "classy" people listen to Van Halen, but let me tell you a little secret...Van Halen freaking rules. They are 1 of only 6 bands ever to have two ablums (Van Halen and 1984) to go Diamond (sold over 10 million copies). Eddie Van Halen reinvented how to play the guitar (two finger tapping technique) and is perhaps the greatest technical guitarist to ever live. He doesn't play the guitar...he bends it to his will. Bands don't cover Van Halen because they can't.